private talks

it all starts from you, really..

i have this smile on my face and i have this great feeling that has stayed with me for a while now. nothing important, nothing to be told about, in fact, it has no real premises to it.
it is friday night and i am here all by myself and this is where i'm supposed to be. i don't feel any urge to do something else, to be some place else, to be with somebody else, to pretend i'm someone else.
all these wants and wishes that get you mistaken along the road, all those years that pass and you simply don't know what you've missed although record says it that you actually lived. well, now i know.
i know that it sounds weird, to say the least, but i don't have any complaints regarding to what i do for a living. i respect my schedule like never before and, as a total surprise..for me, i embrace it. i'm never too tired, too bored or simply not in the mood, i am the right person for the job... people can rely on me and what's more, i can rely on myself.
it's more than acceptance. and it doesn't have to do with work only.
that's only one aspect, and it's a mere consequence to all the rest that has been going on inside for all this time.
and there's the other thing, the one i'm so keen on, the prospect of it, the fact that i've allowed myself to be open-this per se is an achievement, how many people do i know that let themselves imprisioned by their own fears, how i was one of those people and i managed to escape in time-. i finally remember what i've really been missing and it finally makes sense. i make sense.


yeah, it's more than acceptance,
it's love.